This calendar is a special one - for all those special lads out there who make our lives that bit teeth-grittingly worse, frustratingly head-banging on wall, eyes upwardly, irritating.
Said Calendar possesses a name which many would find a little offensive - it uses alliteration, and that's all I am saying. For the purposes of this blog it shall be known as the "Man of the Year Calendar". One of those words is substituted for a rude one. One that I never say.
In an unanticipated flurry, the months are filling up faster than they can pass us by. Mr January was crowned way back in the first week of that month and Mr February almost dead-heated such was his competition. Mr March was already saddled with his title in February, with a runner-up snap, snap, snapping at his calendar-worthy little heels.
We could ruin their lives by publishing their names, so we won't. But I shall outline their noteworthy contributions to being COMPLETE AND UTTER UNFATHOMABLE GITS that so earned them their nom.
- For services to saying nasty, nasty things in the throes of a break-up we have Mr January.
- For excelling in thinking that being a B-grade celebrity is license to be an unprecendented ass - there is Mr Feburary.
- And the honourable mention for February - for wanting to slap a label on things, and inexcusable confusion about crystal clear issues is Circa85 (that's his nickname that he doesn't even know about so we can use that one).
- For excellence in jumping to conclusions, pursuing & then wigging out and changing his mind (oh, and being old) is the indomitable Mr March.
- Closely followed by the snap, snap, snap of Mr "I Just Didn't Get The Feeling but I-shall-continue-to-send-you-indecipherable-mixed-messages" as his oh-so-worthy runner-up.
Been jilted, smited, irked, disrespected, badgered, chevied, tormented or vexed?
Submit your nomination for Man of the Year! The competition is depressingly hot......
